Creating a Memory Box: A Healing Activity for Families
Creating a Memory Box: A Healing Activity for Families
Creating a memory box offers a meaningful way to honor the life of a loved one while providing emotional comfort during challenging times. Beyond preserving memories, this process can serve as a therapeutic outlet, offering solace and helping families navigate their grief together. By honoring the legacy of a loved one, a memory box allows families to maintain a continuous connection with those who have passed. Here’s why creating a memory box can be a comforting pathway to healing for you and your family.
The Emotional Impact of a Memory Box
Grief can often feel overwhelming, making it hard to navigate everyday moments. Having tangible items that carry the presence of a loved one can offer significant comfort. A memory box provides a dedicated space to hold these items, allowing individuals to reconnect with precious memories during times of sadness. A memory box is a comforting bridge to cherished memories, offering a tangible way to reconnect with a loved one during grief. For many, revisiting a memory box can evoke a sense of closeness, offering warmth and solace in times of sadness. For instance, a grieving parent shared how opening their child's memory box during difficult anniversaries helped them feel a renewed connection, turning pain into tender remembrance. Holding a keepsake or reading a heartfelt note can transform sorrow into a comforting embrace of the past, reminding families that love endures.
A tool for emotional expression: For children and adults alike, creating and interacting with a memory box can help articulate feelings that might otherwise be difficult to express.
When my father passed away, I found myself turning to storytelling and poetry as a way to cope. At the time, I didn’t realize that this form of expression was therapeutic—I was simply writing to escape the harsh reality of his absence. Many of my stories included my dad as if he were still alive. In retrospect, I see how important it was to have an outlet for my grief. Encouraging children to engage in similar activities, such as creating a memory box, can be a powerful way for them to process their emotions.
“The memories we cherish become a part of us forever.”
Fostering Family Connection
Creating a memory box offers a unique opportunity to strengthen family bonds, especially for children navigating grief. Selecting meaningful items together encourages open conversations about a loved one and fosters a safe space for emotional expression. This shared activity allows children to ask questions, share their memories, and feel validated in their grief journey. For example, discussing a specific keepsake might prompt stories that bring laughter and tears, helping children articulate feelings they may struggle to express otherwise. These conversations can make everyone feel more connected and supported during difficult times.
Ignite meaningful conversations: These conversations can provide an opportunity for healing and help normalize discussions around loss.
Involving children in this process is especially valuable. It offers them a safe outlet to express emotions, ask questions, and feel included in remembering their loved one. Ask open-ended questions like, “What’s your favorite memory of them?” or “If you could say something to them now, what would it be?”
Honoring a Loved One’s Legacy
A memory box serves as a lasting tribute to your loved one. It captures moments, keepsakes, and stories that define who they were, creating a tangible way to cherish your time with them. Items in the box become:
A personal connection to the past: These mementos remind you of experiences and the impact your loved one had on your life.
A lasting legacy: Future generations can explore the memory box, keeping the loved one’s story alive.
Creating this tribute ensures that love and memories endure beyond loss, providing comfort and reassurance. For instance, I keep a small notebook in my dad’s memory box, where I occasionally jot down memories or thoughts I wish to share with him. This practice comforts me and keeps his presence alive in my life.
“Our stories keep the ones we love with us forever”
Step-by-Step Guide to Creating a Memory Box
Step 1: Choose the Right Box
Start by selecting a box that feels special and meaningful. You can choose a box or even craft one yourself. The box should be sturdy enough to hold cherished items and large enough to accommodate what you plan to include.
Tip: Consider using a box that reflects your loved one’s personality, like one with a favorite color or design.
For example, if your loved one loves nature, you could choose a box with floral patterns or images of trees and animals.
Step 2: Gather Personal Items
Gather items that remind you of your loved one or represent your memories together. These can include:
Photos
Letters
Small trinkets
Jewelry
Favorite books
Choose items that bring comfort and fond memories.
Example: A handwritten note from your loved one, a piece of their favorite clothing, or a photo of a shared special moment can be perfect additions.
Step 3: Add Written Memories
Write down your favorite memories, thoughts, or messages you wish to share with your loved one. You can write these on decorative paper or notecards and place them inside the box. This personal touch helps preserve your feelings and experiences.
Tip: Include messages from all family members to make the box even more special.
Example: “I remember the day we went to the beach together. The sound of your laughter still echoes in my heart.”
Step 4: Decorate and Personalize the Box
Decorate the outside of the memory box to make it uniquely yours. You can paint it, add stickers, attach a nameplate, or use other embellishments that remind you of your loved one.
Tip: Personalizing the box makes it more than just a container—it becomes a heartfelt tribute.
Example: If your loved one enjoyed gardening, you might paint flowers or add pressed leaves to the box.
Step 5: Create a Ritual for the Memory Box
Decide how you will use the memory box. You can open it on special occasions, during difficult times, or whenever you want to feel close to your loved one.
Tip: Creating a ritual around the box can bring comfort and help you stay connected to your loved one’s memory.
Example: “Every year on their birthday or holiday, I open the memory box and add a new item that represents a memory or something I’ve done in their honor.”
A memory box is more than just a collection of keepsakes—it’s a bridge between the past and the present, allowing you to keep your loved one’s memory alive in a tangible way. Each item, story, and ritual becomes part of the healing process, providing comfort, connection, and a reminder that love never truly fades.
“In every memory, there’s a piece of love that stays with us forever.”
Helping Children Heal Through Storytelling
Helping Children Heal Through Storytelling
Storytelling has often played a pivotal role in establishing a bridge between emotions and understanding, allowing us to process life’s most challenging moments. For children navigating grief, storytelling can provide comforting support—a means to explore their feelings, honor their memories, and begin to heal.
Why Storytelling Matters
Stories provide more than just entertainment—they are a mirror reflecting our emotions and a window offering perspectives on life. For children, storytelling can:
Help them process emotions: A well-told story allows children to identify and articulate feelings they might not have words for.
Create a safe space: Children can explore complex emotions safely and non-judgmentally through stories.
Foster connection: Sharing stories strengthens bonds between children and their caregivers, creating a sense of understanding and support.
As I wrote my children’s book, Message to Heaven, I saw firsthand how stories could be a balm for the heart. The book was born to give families a tool to navigate grief together, showing children that they are never alone in their feelings.
When my dad died, I was just fifteen years old. My family wasn’t great at creating a space for me to share my emotions. I don’t remember any conversations about how I was feeling. There was no opportunity to process my grief. Having these opportunities would have helped me understand the emotional rollercoaster I was experiencing. Instead, I turned to storytelling and poetry, though I didn’t realize it was a coping mechanism then. I was simply writing to escape the reality that my dad was gone. My stories often included my dad in physical form, as if he were still alive. Writing became a refuge, allowing me to process emotions I didn’t have words for.
Types of Stories That Help
Not all stories are the same, and certain types can be especially effective for helping children cope with loss:
Personal Stories: Sharing memories about the loved one who has passed can help children feel connected to their legacy. For example, recalling a funny or heartwarming moment can spark smiles even amid sadness.
Books and Fiction: Stories that feature relatable characters can offer validation and hope. Books that model resilience and empathy are particularly impactful.
Make-Believe Stories: Imaginary tales allow children to project their feelings onto characters or scenarios, giving them control over their emotions.
“Storytelling is a safe haven for the soul, where words become a bridge to healing. It allows us to express what’s inside, honor what we’ve lost, and find comfort in connection.”
How to Start Storytelling with Your Child
Introducing storytelling into your child’s routine doesn’t have to be complicated. Here are some simple ways to get started:
Create a Comfortable Setting: Choose a comfortable, distraction-free environment for storytelling. This could be bedtime while sitting on the couch or outside under the stars.
Invite Participation: Encourage your child to join by adding their thoughts to the story. For example, you might say, “What do you think happened next?” or “How would you feel in this situation?”
Use Prompts or Props: Family photos, favorite toys, or drawings can inspire stories. You might start with, “Remember the time when…” or “Let’s imagine a day with [loved one’s name].”
Journaling as a Therapeutic Tool
In addition to verbal storytelling, encouraging children to journal can be profoundly therapeutic. Writing gives them a private space to express their thoughts and feelings. Journals can serve as a memory book, a place to document dreams or a creative outlet for their imagination. Whether through words or drawings, journaling helps children articulate their emotions and find clarity amid confusion.
Tools to Enhance Storytelling
Incorporating tools can make the storytelling experience even more meaningful:
Storybooks About Loss: Reading together can spark meaningful conversations. A few recommended titles include:
The Invisible String by Patrice Karst
Ida, Always by Caron Levis
When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death by Laurie Krasny Brown
Journals or Memory Books: Encourage your child to write or draw their own stories. This can be a therapeutic outlet for their emotions.
Simple Prompts: Ask open-ended questions like, “What’s your favorite memory with [loved one’s name]?” or “If you could tell them something now, what would it be?”
Storytelling has a unique power to rise above pain and foster meaningful connections. For children dealing with the intricate emotions of grief, sharing stories offers a path to healing, a way to cherish memories, and reassurance that they are never alone.
Have you used storytelling to support a child in your life? I’d love to hear about your experience. Which stories or books have made an impact on your family?
I’d love to hear about the stories or books that have resonated with you—feel free to share them in the comments or reach out to me directly. Let’s build a supportive community rooted in shared experiences and insights.
Don’t miss the next blog post, where we’ll discuss creating a memory box—a meaningful way to honor and remember loved ones.
5 Gentle Ways to Help Kids Cope During the Holidays After a Loss
5 Gentle Ways to Help Kids Cope During the Holidays After a Loss
The holiday season is often a magical time when families come together, but for children who have lost a loved one, it can also bring feelings of sadness and longing. Family traditions, in the absence of someone special, may feel overwhelming. So, how can you best support children during this emotional time?
Helping children find comfort, connection, and ways to reflect on their absent loved ones can bring them moments of joy and healing during the holidays. Here are five gentle and practical ways to support kids during this season:
1. Honor the Loved One’s Memory
Keeping a loved one’s memory alive can help children feel connected and validated in their grief. Here are a few meaningful ways to do this:
Create a Memory Ornament: Decorate an ornament that symbolizes the loved one, incorporating favorite colors, photos, or special symbols.
Light a Candle: Set aside a moment to light a candle in their honor, while sharing a story or favorite memory.
Make a Memory Box: Design a box with the child, adding keepsakes such as pictures, garments, or mementos.
Start a New Tradition: Incorporate something the loved one enjoyed, such as baking their favorite cookies or playing their holiday song.
Honoring their memory can turn sadness into a moment of connection and healing.
2. Create a Safe Space for Feelings
The holidays often bring pressure to be cheerful, but children need to know all emotions are valid—whether it’s joy, sadness, or both.
Have Open Conversations: Encourage children to share their feelings by asking questions like, “What’s your favorite memory of them?” or “How can we remember them together today?”
Offer Comfort Items: A cherished piece of clothing or object from their loved one can bring a sense of closeness.
Listening without judgment and being present can make a world of difference.
“Those we love never truly leave us. There are things that death cannot touch—memories, love, and the moments that live on in our hearts.”
3. Keep Holiday Plans Flexible
Children’s emotions can be unpredictable, so flexibility is key.
Allow for Quiet Moments: Creating space for the rest of the day feels too overwhelming.
Simplify When Needed: Focus on what feels most meaningful and manageable.
Give Them Choices: Let children decide which activities they want to participate in, giving them a sense of control during uncertain times.
4. Focus on Connection
Grief can feel isolating, but fostering connection can bring comfort.
Share Stories: Relive fond memories that celebrate the loved one’s spirit and qualities.
Include Friends and Family: A supportive circle can offer additional comfort and stability.
Engage in Giving: Acts of kindness, like making holiday cards or donating to a cause their loved one cares about, can bring a sense of purpose.
5. Allow Joy to Coexist with Grief
Children may feel guilty about feeling happy after a loss. Reassure them that it’s okay to experience both joy and sadness—it’s part of healing.
Celebrate Small Joys: Notice the beauty in moments like family laughter, the glow of holiday lights, or the warmth of hot cocoa.
Reframe the Holiday Spirit: Shift the focus to love and connection, showing that the holidays are about cherishing what matters most.
By offering gentle support, children can find ways to honor their loved ones while rediscovering moments of peace and joy during the holidays. Your presence, patience, and love provide the foundation they need to navigate this time with hope.
“Grief is the silent companion we never asked for, but it walks with us, reminding us that love leaves an imprint no loss can erase.”
A Grief Companion for Kids
Looking for more ways to support children through grief?
Check out my children’s book, Message to Heaven.
As a thank you for your interest, receive a free eBook today by signing up at www.messagetoheaven.org/signup.
Together, let’s create spaces of connection, healing, and hope.
Finding My Way Back: A Message from the Heart
Reflecting on the Pause
It’s been a little quiet here lately, and if you’ve been following my journey, you might have wondered where I’ve been. Life pulls us in many directions, and sometimes, we need to step back to reflect, regroup, and refocus.
Stepping away wasn’t planned, but it became necessary. Between the demands of working full-time and my commitment to personal projects that mean so much to me, I found myself stretched thin. This time has allowed me to reconnect with what matters most and regain the energy to move forward.
“Sometimes, it’s in the quiet moments that we find the most clarity. They remind us why we started and reignite the passion for the things that bring purpose and joy.”
A New Chapter: Message to Heaven
One of the most exciting things that has filled my time is my Kickstarter campaign for my children’s book, Message to Heaven. This story is close to my heart. It’s about love, loss, and staying connected with those we’ve lost—a topic that resonates with many families.
“Writing this book has been a labor of love, but bringing it to life requires effort beyond the creative process. The Kickstarter campaign can help with this effort.”
For those who may not be familiar with it, a Kickstarter campaign is a crowdfunding effort hosted on a platform where creators present their ideas, set a fundraising goal, and invite people to support their vision. These supporters, known as “backers,” help bring meaningful projects to life.
This campaign is about finding a book and creating a resource for families navigating the emotions of loss and grief, especially with children.
Balancing Work and Passion
Working full-time while pursuing personal passions is no small task. Many moments surfaced when I felt consumed by the challenge of meeting daily responsibilities while dedicating myself to something I genuinely care about. It was overwhelming and even paralyzing at times.
Through this process, I’ve learned a few lessons about finding balance:
Prioritize What Matters
Not everything can be done at once, and that’s okay. Deciding what’s most important at the moment helps direct energy where it’s needed most.
Set Boundaries
Saying no to distractions or unnecessary tasks isn’t selfish—it’s a way of protecting your time and focus.
Stay Connected to Your Purpose
Remembering the “why” behind your work is a powerful motivator. It keeps you grounded when the demands feel impossible.
If you’ve ever felt like juggling too much, know you are not alone. The best way to reset your priorities is to take some time to pause and reflect.
Looking Ahead: What’s Coming to the Blog
The holiday season is a time of togetherness but can also bring up feelings of loss, longing, and mixed emotions, especially for grieving children and families. I’m eager to revisit topics that resonate deeply with this community.
In the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing posts that focus on:
Helping children navigate complex emotions during the holidays.
Finding joy and connection after loss.
Building deeper family bonds through meaningful conversations and activities.
This space has always been about fostering connection, hope, and empathy. I want to continue to support you and your loved ones by offering practical advice, heartfelt stories, and tools.
Your Voice Matters
I’d love to hear from you as I plan these upcoming posts. What’s been on your heart lately? Are there conversations or topics you’d like to explore here?
This blog is as much about you as it is about the stories and insights I share. It is a space where we learn from and support each other. Feel free to leave a comment or message me.
Gratitude and Moving Forward
With gratitude, I thank you for being here and giving me the space to step away and return with a renewed sense of purpose. This blog is, and always will be, where empathy leads the way. We can continue creating a community rooted in understanding, hope, and encouragement.
Stay tuned for more soon—I can’t wait to share this next chapter with you.
Also, if you’d like to learn more about Message to Heaven or support the Kickstarter campaign, you can find all the details at messagetoheaven.org/signup.
Start with Empathy: The Key to Comforting Conversations About Loss with Your Child
Starting with Empathy: The Key to Comforting Conversations About Loss with Your Child
Talking to children about loss is never easy, and many parents and guardians need help with it. I created "Message to Heaven" to ease that burden and prompt the conversation.
A child who has lost a loved one needs a safe space to communicate their feelings. Please encourage them to express their feelings in whatever format they are comfortable with, such as talking, drawing, or any other form of communication. Emotional validation allows the child to be vulnerable if they know it's okay to be sad, angry, and confused and feel supported without judgment.
How do the five stages of grief differ between kids and adults?
The five stages of grief differ between kids and adults in understanding death, expressing their emotions, and how to cope with the loss of a loved one. Both will experience some of the same feelings of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, but the maturity level will dictate how the grief will manifest.
The initial stage of grief is denial, where individuals struggle with the reality that their loved one is gone. This stage is a defense mechanism to manage emotions. For a young child, because they don't fully understand that death is permanent, they may ask when is the loved one coming home. As their understanding deepens, revisiting the permanence of death may be necessary.
“Denial helps us to pace our feelings of grief... it is the nature of survival.”
Intense emotions begin to surface, and anger is usually the dominant one. Feelings of frustration and anger at the situation occur. This anger can be toward themselves, others, and the person who has passed away. Children express their grief sporadically, exhibiting sadness and quickly navigating into an activity. Their emotional awareness is limited, making it difficult for children to articulate their feelings. Because of this, you may observe behaviors such as withdrawal, acting out, or developmental regression.
At the bargaining stage, individuals dwell on the what if, thinking about things they could have done differently to avoid the inevitable. Bargaining is to lessen the impact of the loss and regain control when they feel powerless. This stage is challenging for children as they begin to think about how they can reverse the death. They will express the desire for the loved one to return if they are good or behave better. They are willing to fix the situation by making a deal to keep their room clean or do their chores, which is indicative of their age-appropriate thinking and inability to grasp the concept of death.
Understanding Depression in Childhood Grief: Signs, Symptoms, and Support
The depression stage is where the individual begins to realize the extent of the loss entirely. The sadness, regret, and hopelessness deepens. Behaviors that surface are withdrawal from others, feelings of loneliness, and lack of interest in activities. Because children have a limited ability to express their emotions fully, their experiences with deep sadness, hopelessness, and regret surface through changes in behavior, emotional withdrawal, and physical symptoms.
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word... all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
Below are some ways the depression stage may look like for children:
Emotional Withdrawal or Numbness: A child may become less interested in an activity they once loved, becoming withdrawn, quiet, and reserved.
Mood changes: Children may cry more often and express regret over the loss. They may seem down all the time and have prolonged periods of sadness.
Sleep Disturbances: Sleep disturbances occur when children are experiencing emotional distress. You may observe them having trouble sleeping, sleeping for long periods, or having nightmares.
Loss of appetite or overeating: The loss of a loved one may prompt a change in appetite and can be a sign of depression. Some children may lose interest in eating or use food for comfort and overeating.
Heightened Clinginess and Separation Anxiety: Depression in children can cause heightened clinginess and fear of being separated from family and further loss of remaining parents or guardians.
Finding Peace Through Acceptance: Moving Forward While Honoring Loved Ones
Acceptance is when individuals begin to acknowledge a level of understanding of the loss. They begin to make adjustments to start a life without their loved ones. However, acceptance doesn't mean they are happy individuals; it means they find ways to move on while still honoring their loved ones in many different ways.
This stage for children happens over time as their maturity level of understanding that death is permanent and realizing their loved one is not coming back. While they may still exhibit sadness and anger, they will be able to manage their emotions better. Some additional behaviors that are evidence of acceptance are returning to their routines, engaging in conversations about their loved ones more comfortably without breaking down, and developing a new sense of normalcy.
Helping children navigate through the stages of grief is no easy task. It is imperative to start with empathy and open the lines of communication.
My latest book, Message to Heaven, captures a young girl's journey through navigating her emotions after losing a loved one and learning how to stay connected to them. This book is for parents, guardians, caregivers, and teachers to help children begin the healing process after a devastating loss.
To be notified when Message to Heaven is released, sign up for our newsletter at messagetoheaven.org/signup. As a thank you for signing up, you will receive a free copy of the ebook today.